Petals Of A Rose
by Judroozz
Summary: She closed her eyes for a brief moment and he knew she had craved for this moment just as much as he had, whether she wanted to admit it or not./ Begins the day Addison comes back from her trip to LA, Addex/Addisex
1. I Wish

**A/N: Okay, so I've once again got a new story, probably about three chapters, maybe more. I really do intend to finish it, and if I don't… well just stalk me until I do.:P**

**I'm not really sure about it, because I'm afraid it might be a little OOC, but well, just read and let me know what you think!**

**Anyway, it's Addex, obviously, and it begins on the day she comes back from her trip from LA, so yeah, they go from there…**

**ENJOY!**

~~Alex's POV~~

A familiar flash of red caught his eye and made his head turn – as always. She was back.

Standing at the abandoned nurses' station she subconsciously ran her right foot up and down her left leg and bit on the end of her pen. As she concentrated on the chart in her hand she had no idea she was almost killing him by just looking like she did.

He took her in and noticed the slight changes. The new color of her skin – she had gained a nice tan – and the way she just looked even more beautiful than before. Or was that just because he hadn't seen her for a while? A while that had felt like an eternity, by the way. Oh, what could he say, absence made the heart grow fonder, right? If only that would be the same for _her_. He was fairly sure she hated him, and she had every reason to.

He had tried not to hurt her, but he had been a total jerk and he had seen the hurt in her eyes. He hadn't wanted to see that hurt, because it meant that he had failed once again. He didn't even know anymore _why _he had told her 'you're not my girlfriend'. She had not been his girlfriend, true, but it wasn't what you usually said to a woman, especially one you liked very _very _much, and she hadn't even asked to be his girlfriend. All she had done was invite him back to her hotel room to help him 'study', an offer that had been very appealing and refusing it had been extremely hard for him.

But he had done it, the stupidest thing ever, his biggest mistake. It had been a chance at happiness, at safety and possibly love. That picture had always frightened him however, and he had always seen it as something he'd never have and he had never felt the need to. He wasn't good with feelings and people, so when Addison came along, he freaked out. Mainly because she had been the first one in a long time who had taken him as he was and had gotten to know him, seen him as a decent guy, whatever that was. She scared him because she was the first woman with who he actually wanted to have 'that picture', the happiness, the safety and the love with and she was the first to also want that with _him_.

She had believed in him despite his flaws, which was something he wasn't quite used to. So he had tried to make her realize he wasn't worth it and at the same time to not hurt her, only to realize he had anyway when he saw the look in her eyes – too late.

She suddenly looked up from her chart – giving him no time to quickly look away – and caught him staring at her. He couldn't help but smile a little smile, one she didn't return. Her eyes stayed fairly cold and she just looked at him with an expressionless face before focusing on the chart in her hand again.

He sighed, those cold eyes… how was he ever going to make that right? She really didn't deserve to be treated like that – especially not after everything that had already happened to her – so that meant he had to apologize to her, make things right. And he wanted to, definitely, he would do anything to just take everything back and maybe even be with her, give it a shot, because that was what he really wanted… but she deserved better than him. Someone that didn't hurt her or send her running for the hills. He had to talk to her though, apologize, because he might be able to see her with another guy some day – if he would make her happy and be at least a little worth her – but there was no way he would be able to handle her giving him cold looks and being mad at him.

He slowly approached her, not taking his eyes off her. She looked up when he came to a halt in front of her. For a moment he lost himself in her beautiful blue eyes which resulted in him noticing the color of her skin wasn't the only thing that had changed. It seemed as if she had come to carry another burden, something else that made her even unhappier. There was, on the other hand, also a small twinkling, barely noticeable but it at least existed. It was as if LA had given her her energy back again, the power to fight for the things she wanted and deserved.

She eventually broke their staring as she raised a questioning eyebrow at him before looking down at her chart again.

"Addison… could we talk?" he asked her, trying to not sound too desperate.

"It's dr. Montgomery for you, Karev, and no, we can not talk, I'm busy," she told him flatly, not looking up from her chart.

He had to hide a flinch when he heard the professional tone of her voice, as if she was talking to a stranger. No, she would probably be nicer to a stranger, which hurt even more.

He studied her face and felt relief wash over him when she looked up again and he saw her eyes. She might be able to let her voice sound like she didn't care, her eyes said something entirely different. Her eyes told him she _did_ care and it gave him hope, maybe there was still a chance. Her eyes were the opposite of her face, numerous emotions running through them. Knowing she _did_ care, he felt himself able to soften his eyes and look at her so that maybe she would understand, so that maybe she would want to talk to him after all.

As she looked up at him recognition and then fear flashed through her eyes, she had definitely understood. There was fear though, fear to be hurt again. He was about to reach for her hand, knowing that now that they were looking at each other in that way she might not pull back, when they were interrupted by Mark.

He really didn't like that guy, he was an ass and he had hurt Addison multiple times. He had even cheated on her, on _Addison Forbes Montgomery_, who would _ever_ do that? It was _her_, that had to say enough, right?

"Addison!" Mark yelled with a smile as he came strolling towards them.

Addison turned around, turning her back to him and her front towards Mark, nodded politely at Mark. He could only hope she was annoyed too, even if it was only a little.

"Mark." Addison smiled a sweet smile, one that didn't completely reach her eyes. Maybe, just maybe, he was right…

"What, and he _can_ call you Addison?" he whispered in her ear as they waited for Mark to finish talking to the nurse that had suddenly appeared from nowhere.

Standing behind her he could smell her shampoo and his hands itched to touch her, anywhere. As he breathed out again he could see goose bumps appear on her skin. Did he still have that effect on her?

His thoughts were interrupted when she looked over her shoulder, smirking slightly when she saw his jealous expression before he quickly hid it. "Yeah, well, I used to be his girlfriend – or something like that anyway, once you reach that you can call me Addison, too." _Touché._

She looked in his eyes for a moment, trying to look smug, before turning back to Mark who was still consulting something with the nurse. She couldn't completely hide the hurt in her eyes though, not from him, and he once again felt a mixture of guilt and hope.

"I wish," he told her honestly, his mouth only inches away from her ear.

She looked at him with a slightly disturbed expression on her face, her mouth almost too close to his to bear. "No, you don't," she whispered, shaking her head.

He finally put his right hand on her hip and pulled her slightly closer, knowing she couldn't pull back now and leaned slightly closer until he could feel her ear against his lips, even if it was only a ghost of a touch. "I really do," he whispered softly, feeling her stiffen slightly. She surprisingly leaned into his touch and against him and he felt his heart start to beat faster and faster, he had not expected her to react to his touch in that way. She sighed softly, regret and desire for what they could have evident, as he put his other hand on her other hip. She closed her eyes for a brief moment and he knew she had craved for this moment just as much as he had, whether she wanted to admit it or not. Noticing Mark was about to finish his talk he took one last breath of her scent before pulling back and increasing the distance between them, his hands falling from her hips and immediately missing their spot. She suddenly seemed to wake from her trance and quickly recovered, clearing her throat.

He couldn't help but smirk a little, even though there hadn't been any people around she wasn't one to take risks concerning her reputation of being very professional and having a very intimate moment with your intern wasn't really something that was considered professional. That had to mean something, right?

"You're back," Mark commented when he proceeded reaching them, smiling happily at her.

"Yes, I am. You seem a bit surprised, though," she answered, looking at him questioningly.

Mark smiled apologetically. "No, I just… was afraid it might become something… permanent."

He frowned. What did Sloan mean by that?

"Oh," was all that Addison said, a sign she _did_ understand, something that made him seriously worried. What was going on?

When she didn't say anything else Mark looked questioningly at her. "Well, will it?"

She looked at him for a moment. "I honestly don't know," she told Mark, then nodded at him before she glanced behind her, her eyes finding his and staying on him just a little longer than would be expected from normal co-workers, and walked away.

Both men watched her before they looked at each other. "What did you two mean?" he asked Mark concerned.

Mark raised his eyebrows, anger evident in his eyes. "You didn't understand?" Mark asked him annoyed.

When he didn't reply he continued. "It means we might loose her to sunny LA," Mark told him. "So you better do whatever you didn't do or apologize for whatever you _did_ do, because else she _will_ go, believe me. She chose you the moment she pushed you into that on-call room so you better hurry up, because you're the one that can make her stay." And so Mark walked away too, leaving him standing alone at the nurses' station, staring at her still descending form.

He _had_ to get her back.

**A/N: Okay, so that was the first chapter.:)**

**Let me know what you thought, favorite sentences, etc.**


	2. Today, I Want You

**A/N: Yay, next chapter!:) I realized the title of the story didn't really make sense to anyone, but I think you should be able to understand it after reading this chapter.**

**I'm going on vacation tomorrow for about a week so it'll be a little longer before I update again, but I'll try to be as fast as possible.**

**Enjoy!**

She sighed as she left her patient's room, a chart in her hand and her heels as always clicking on the floor, making her presence known long before she was actually there.

Suddenly, a lot of things had changed. Things were different since LA, she _felt_ different but she also noticed certain people _acted_ different around her, especially Alex Karev.

She didn't want to be still thinking about him, but it wasn't exactly like she had a choice. No matter what he had done, she just couldn't keep him out of her head, especially after what he had done the previous day. Every time she felt his eyes or hands on her she couldn't keep her heart from fluttering, and even when she just thought about his touch she was ready to throw herself at him again.

She had been able to relax in LA, to think about everything, but the only conclusion she had come to was that she still wanted him, even after everything that had happened and had been said, so she just had to be strictly professional around him so she wouldn't do something again she'd regret later, again.

LA had been good for her, like finally being able to breathe again after holding your breath for _almost_ too long. It had been nice, but it might've been just a little bit too much air for her. She had become accustomed to not having very much breathing space because that was what happened when she was around Alex Karev, her body just seemed to stop functioning, and she kind of liked it. _Sometimes, _when he wasn't being an insensitive jerk.

She looked up from her chart to see Mark standing at the nearest nurses' station. As soon as he had seen her the day before he had cornered her, knowing exactly what she was considering.

Yesterday, her first day back, had been a little bit too suffocating, like the air had suddenly disappeared during the time she was away. Or maybe it had just felt that way because it was a little weird to be back again. But Alex's breath on her skin while his hands were _almost_ on her hips… until they actually were… it had been extremely hard for her to keep herself standing.

If only Mark hadn't interrupted them… no, it was good he had. She didn't know what would've happened if he hadn't, but she probably would've regretted it.

Suddenly she felt a hand on the small of her back and she instantly knew who it belonged to. Though she wanted nothing more than it to stay there she knew she had to tell him to back off, because else she wouldn't be able to keep herself from doing what she wanted with him.

"Dr. Karev, what can I do for you?" she asked him professionally, deliberately not looking at him.

"Could we talk?" he asked her while leaning a little closer, their bodies now touching in much more ways than just his hand on her back.

She sighed and looked in his eyes, trying to ignore the hope and warmth she found there. "I'll rephrase my question. What can I professionally do for you, dr. Karev?" she asked him again, trying to sound as cold as possible. She wasn't able to keep the tremble from her voice though, and she felt his arm slip around her waist and pull her closer while her eyes darted around the hallway to see if anyone noticed.

"Talk to me," he told her softly, causing alarm bells to ring inside her head. This was not supposed to happen again, she had to be strong this time.

"I _am_ talking to you, but if you have nothing further to say would you please excuse me? I've got work to do," she spoke as she fastened her pace, effectively walking out of his touch.

She heard him sigh in defeat behind her and she felt the need to turn around and let him talk, but she knew she couldn't, shouldn't do it. She glanced over her shoulder and when she saw him turn around and walk away she couldn't deny the regret that took over.

But Alex had made it perfectly clear he didn't want her, no matter what he was trying now. It had hurt, yes, but she needed to get over him. Fate or God or whatever there was if there was something apparently didn't care he made her feel incredible with just one touch or sentence. It apparently didn't matter that there had been a while with him in which she had felt better than she had in years. Nope, not meant to be.

They definitely weren't made for each other, that much was sure. He was always sending out mixed signals, as if he was a rose. I want you, I want you not, I want you, I want you not… yesterday, I want you, two weeks ago, I want you not.

She dropped off her chart at the nurses' station and continued to walk through the hallway.

She shouldn't focus on the 'what if's anyway, she had to focus on how in hell she was going to act normal around him, let alone get over him. She just had to stay professional, no touching, and no staring into each other's eyes, because those two were extremely dangerous territory, they made her loose control.

That made her remember the fact that they also shouldn't have _those_ moments and conversations. 'Those' being the kind of moments and conversations in which he would say the most perfect things and _not _be a jerk and as a result she would simply forget about all the bad things and just fall in love with him over and over again with every word that passed his lips.

And that, was bad, _very_ bad, because he didn't want her, _at all._ She just had to keep telling herself that.

She sighed as she paid for her coffee at the coffee cart before heading for the NICU, why was life so damn complicated?

What kind of doctor was she when she couldn't even control herself around him, her intern? She was supposed to be a professional, but every time he came near her the word professional changed into stupid and she would end up doing something… impulsive, stupid.

That was the problem, not only did he evoke feelings inside of her that she really shouldn't be having, he also made her do _impulsive_ things. That was so not like her, she planned things, impulsivity didn't occur in her dictionary. Of course her dictionary was already full of synonyms to stupid, whore, and, recently added, 'dried up'. But apparently, Alex had that much power over her that he could just take her dictionary from her and write words in there, how else could she explain what had happened between them? It wasn't what she normally did, and he had made it perfectly clear he wasn't interested, so yeah, what was the reason?

She opened the door to the NICU and slipped inside, sighing contently when all she heard was the beeping sound of the monitors, happy to finally be alone.

She grabbed a chart and scanned it before checking the monitors, not noticing the door opening and closing until there was a familiar scent too near for her liking. Swirling around she stood nose to nose with none other than Alex Karev.

"Dr. Karev," she spoke shakily, trying to regain her composure.

He nodded at her, a small smile on his face as he looked into her eyes. "Dr. Montgomery."

Still feeling his breath on her skin she knew she had to get away from him, _fast._ "Um, I, um," she started, looking down at the chart in her hands and trying to find an excuse, "I need to check on, um, baby Robinson."

He looked at her for a moment, his eyes filled with unreadable emotions. "Right," he answered, slowly stepping aside so she could brush past him.

As she walked towards baby Robinson she could feel his eyes on her and she wondered why all of a sudden he was acting this way. Just before she had left for California he had made it very clear he didn't want her, and now… it was confusing. Which shouldn't surprise her, since everything with him had been confusing.

As she tried to focus on the baby she could feel him studying her. After a while she decided it was enough and looked up, meeting his gaze. "What is it, Alex?" she asked him, cursing herself for calling him by his first name the moment the word left her lips.

He looked at her for a moment and finally spoke when she had looked down at baby Robinson again. "Are you leaving Seattle?"

Her head shot up and a surprised expression took over her face. "Where did you hear that?"

"Are you?" he shot back, not answering her question just like she hadn't answered his.

"Well, where would I go, Karev?" she asked him as she scribbled something down on the chart.

He sighed and looked at her accusingly. "Somewhere too far from here."

She closed her eyes for a moment before opening them again, willing herself to not fall for him again and pushing away that little voice that was telling her she already had. "I must say that sounds very appealing at the moment, let me know when you find that place."

She give him a small smirk that was easy to look through before walking towards the door. As she walked through the doorway she heard his slightly desperate voice behind her. "Is that a yes?"

"Who knows, Karev," she called over her shoulder.

Today, I want you?

**A/N: So, thoughts? Please review! They make me happy and it only takes a few secs.:)**


	3. That Source

**A/N: First of all I want to apologize for the huge amount of time it took me to get this done. It's kind of becoming a habit for me, not updating stories and all… Anyway, here it finally is.**

**I don't know yet if this is the last chapter or not, depends on the reviews and whether people still want to read it, so yeah, enjoy!**

"So, what's going on between you and 'the help'?" she heard an amused voice behind her.

She turned around and smiled a warm smile at her friend before raising an eyebrow. "Why would there be something going on between us?"

Callie chuckled and leaned next to her against the nurses' station. "Well, even though he was a jerk, I can still see those 'lines of deliciousness', and the way that boy looks at you..."

"He's not a boy, Cal," she told her as she looked down at her chart again, trying to hide the small smile that she felt tugging at the corners of her lips.

Callie rolled her eyes and looked at her. "Not really my point, Addie."

"I know." She smirked at her friend and chuckled at her expression before looking the other way, instantly finding 'that boy's eyes.

He seemed to be deep in thought, since there was an intense far-away look in his eyes and he didn't even notice she was looking back at him. She shook her head slightly and told herself to stop it. He had hurt her enough the first time, was she really that stupid and desperate to give him another opportunity? Since she had been back all he had done was play with her feelings, so no, she wasn't going to let it happen again.

She turned back at Callie with a look of determination in her eyes. "Nothing is going to happen between us again, I'm not going to let him do it again. I'll see you at lunch, okay?"

She looked back at him once more before quickly turning around and walking away. She didn't see how he did notice her looking back at him this time, she didn't see how he sighed in defeat when she turned around.

She walked down the hallway with the tell-tale clicking of her heels following her. Suddenly she felt a strong arm around her waist – an arm that felt very familiar and sent a tingling feeling through her body – and when she looked up she looked right into the eyes of Alex Karev. He smiled genuinely at her and she couldn't help but smile a small smile back at him, he had that effect on her.

She didn't really understand what he was doing – why he was holding her so close to him and smiling at her in that sweet way while they were in a quite busy hallway – until she was suddenly dragged into an empty on-call room.

He closed the door behind them and stared at her with smoldering eyes. Suppressing a shiver she felt the hand that belonged to the arm that was still around her waist draw small circles on her back. Him pulling her flush against him seemed to finally wake her from their 'moment'.

"Karev, what…" she started, but didn't even get any further before his lips cut off the rest of whatever she had been planning on saying – she didn't even remember anymore. Yeah, he was _that_ good.

She didn't respond to the kiss at first, because, well, she didn't know what to do. Her mind was telling her to push him away and tell him once and for all to keep his hands off her and leave her alone, but that, of course, wasn't a very fun prospect.

Then there was her heart that was making much more sense at that moment, because it was simply telling her to give in, since that was what she actually wanted. Or, actually, it wasn't what she wanted, so that wasn't what her heart was telling her… what she really wanted was more, all of him, not just another on-call room moment, no matter how hot it would surely be.

So, basically, both her mind and her heart told her to stop kissing him, now the only problem left was her mouth, because it somehow couldn't stop devouring his. Yeah, her mouth wouldn't listen. It had slowly started to move with his and was now allowing his tongue to enter so the fireworks could officially start, because that was definitely how it felt. Passionate, wanting, fast, mind-blowing, exactly what they had both been craving for the past weeks.

Her hands wandered up his chest to the back of his head where they slowly played with his short hair. His hands had been wrapped around her waist tightly to keep her as close as possible, but one hand crept to her ass and she suddenly came to her senses and broke their kiss off.

"What's wrong?" he asked her breathlessly, his hair ruffled and his eyes dark with lust.

"We-we can't… do this," she told him, trying to catch her breath.

He frowned in confusion. "Why not?"

"Because you can't go and do this now, Alex! Not after…" she started explaining while she tried her best to ignore the way he looked at her with so much adoration and softness or how it felt to be in his arms again.

But, once again, she was interrupted by his lips, slower and sweeter this time. She almost gave in, but no matter how intoxicating his kiss was she knew she had to stop him, so she pushed him away before she would again not be able to resist him.

"No, Alex! You can't just go and kiss me! I'm your boss, _not_ your girlfriend!" she told him furiously, trying to get out of his arms.

He wouldn't let go of her though. Holding her tightly with one arm, he brushed a stray of hair out of her face and stared into her eyes with a sad expression. "I know you're not…" he spoke quietly, letting his fingers caress her cheek.

She took his hand off her cheek and shook her head sadly at him. "I can't let you do this to me again, Alex," she told him softly, before wriggling out of his grip and leaving the room without looking back.

She quickly walked away, in search for Callie.

When she found her friend she all but dragged her into an empty hall way. "Whoa whoa, keep your panties on. What's going on?"

After she had checked if there was really nobody around she explained the recent events. Callie raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms. "That's all?"

She frowned at her friends words. "How do you mean, that's all? I've got a serious problem here, Cal! How can I make sure none of this happens again?"

"I don't see why you would try anything to stop it."

She raised her eyebrows at her friend and looked at her in utter confusion. "I don't think you completely understand what I'm saying here. I need to find a way to stop, whatever is going on between us. And I need your help to do it."

Callie rolled her eyes. "I get what you're saying, but I don't understand why you want to ignore what you're feeling. It's obvious that he has an enormous effect on you and the boy is so lost in you."

"He's _not_ a boy, Cal," Addison told her again, sighing exasperatedly.

Callie rolled her eyes once again. "Again, not really my point, Addie. Don't you see the way he looks at you? He may have hurt you in the past, but don't you think you're just trying to protect yourself from that happening again? Don't you think that deep down you've already forgiven him?"

Addison closed her eyes for a moment, and when she opened them again she suddenly saw the subject of their little discussion standing a couple of feet behind Callie, looking directly at her. Callie noticed her staring and turned around, a small smile appearing on her lips.

She turned around again and looked at her with a knowing expression. "I think I'm going to leave you two alone for a moment."

"No Cal, seriously, I don't want to talk to him yet."

Callie smiled at her. "You're falling in love and you can't deny that," she told her in a sing-song voice before walking away.

She sighed and watched as Alex slowly approached her, not taking his eyes off her for even a second. When he finally reached her he put one hand on her hip while he reached out with the other and cupped her face softly.

She sighed desperately, but leaned into his touch anyway. "What are you doing, Alex?" she asked him softly, tired of fighting him.

He smiled softly at her. "I'm falling in love with you," he told her honestly, causing a surprised expression to appear on her face.

"Are you now? Because before I went to LA I heard something totally different from this certain source…" she spoke, looking at him accusingly.

He nodded at her. "Yeah, that source was lying. You shouldn't listen to him, he's a total jerk," he explained seriously, tucking a strand of red hair behind her ear.

"That source," she started softly, "hurt me."

He nodded slowly and a guilty expression appeared on his face. "He's really sorry, he hates himself for that."

She chuckled before smiling softly at him. "Don't be too hard on him, he's okay when you get to know him, I might even forgive him some day for lying to me."

"Well, I'm sure he'll do anything to get your forgiveness… if you let him…" he spoke nervously, the hope obvious in his voice.

She raised an eyebrow at him and acted like she was thinking about it. "I just might. If he tries really hard, and," she explained in a teasing tone, beaming at him, "you know, if he's serious… about us."

"Oh, he is, he's never been more serious about anyone before," he told her, smiling sweetly at her before pulling her closer and capturing her lips with his once again.

And this time, she didn't resist, on the contrary…

**A/N: So, worth another chapter or not? Let me know, it all depends on you!**


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